Fall is a contradictory season. On the one hand, leaves are dying off and falling, the summer sunshine and warmth are retreating, daylight hours are dwindling. My neighbors’ yards do not look particularly handsome these days; rather, they have a droopy and soggy quality about them, and most of the colorful blooms have gone away. But on the other hand, it seems that the world has never felt so beautiful. The air is sharp and fresh, and the rain has rarely smelled so comforting.
I’m realizing that autumn brings with it a paradigm shift from “individual” to “corporate” beauty. Color is found not in what we tend delicately with our hands, but in larger, wilder things: trees, wind, furious flurries of dead leaves, sunsets, and paint-by-number hillsides rising behind the city. My neighborhood as a whole screams, “Fall is here,” as it is collectively covered in a frosting of orange and yellow and red. The season is like a Monet painting: we have to let go and step back to see how all the small pieces of apparent chaos are actually vibrant paint smears on the glorious canvas of fall.
On a personal level, this season seems to be mirroring my life in a state of transition. I’ve just completed the process of moving from one side of the Willamette River to the other. Last week, boxes were scattered across the house, countless amounts of telephone calls were made to utility companies, maintenance people, rental agents, and house painters. But in spite of all the bedlam, that transition carried with it a wonderful promise of things to come. Now, as my life is settling down slightly, nothing seems more perfect than curling up in our rocking chair on our new front porch with a mug of hot apple cider, watching the season complete its own untidy shift into a new phase of life.
And who doesn’t love hot choco
late or spiced apple cider? Finding an orange leaf that somehow managed to sneak into the hood of my coat? Or the sight of cats lounging on top of cars, absorbing the last remnants of engine heat.
The transition from one way of life to another, however fleeting it might be, deserves a round of applause. Congratulations, world! You’ve done it again! And this time, more beautifully than ever.